the hills are alive

KT, Heather Staff & I are going to the Sing-a-Long Sound of Music tonight. I'd post photographs of them in their costumes, but... I appear to be the only one dressing up.

prize banana

Jan's got a banana holder. She uses it to keep her fruit safe in transit. Not even taking the bend into account, it measures 25 centimetres long -- which means no earthly banana ever fills it completely. So she generally ends up having to top the end up with some grapes in order to cushion the banana out.

Kinda defeats the purpose. And, one imagines, probably makes those bananas feel slightly inadequate.

Anyway, it was Beardy's birthday last week and rather than come in with Krispy Kremes as is the birthday tradition, he took orders and went to Pret. Good call Beardy.

KT ordered a banana. And will you look what Beardy came back with:

Ladies' Day at PRC

In honour of Ladies' Day at Ascot, I would like to show you the preliminary results of some experimentation to test my theory that you can make a frock and a hat out of anything.

Behold.

goat legs in the city

I did say I liked shoes. But this might be taking it a bit far.

We sent Wincanton a scamp for their grads advert that involved an image of someone walking around on 2 foot tall spring stilts. 'Someone'. Meaning me. We thought it would make them giggle. It did -- and they also decided they wanted it.

So I took delivery of a pair of stilts at my flat at 10 minutes to 9 with a photographer scheduled for a 9.30am photoshoot. Having never stood on these things in my life. No problem.

I stuffed them into a rucksack and scooted across the city on my moped with them sticking up behind my head blocking out my blind spot. People were staring. And I was thinking, haha, you think it looks funny now, wait until I am seven feet tall walking down Gracechurch Street later.

That's if I'm not splatted across it, of course.

These look fine, I was thinking. Nice piece of kit. So I strapped them on while sitting on my moped, observed by the colleagues who had flocked to the scene to laugh at me learning to walk on 2 inch long rubber stoppers across cobbestones.

Stood up, then immediately fell on my bum onto a couple of grand's worth of camera equipment.



Obviously that photo was staged after the event. Note how carefully Jan is recreating her 'rushing to save the copywriter' stance. Most intrepid.

Spotters seemed a good idea at that point so Jan and Mike walked me out to Gracechurch Street in the heart of the city. As you can see I am very inconspicuous so it wasn't a problem.



So having had at least three and a half minutes to practice walking on stilts, we immediately commenced a photo shoot much to the amusement of passing busses, puzzled people filming on camera phones -- and even a Wincanton lorry. Hello! Messed with some people in a Starbucks sitting above street level, who couldn't figure out how there was a 7 foot tall girl walking past their window.



Good morning people of Starbucks, would you like some demonic back bending spring legs to go with your latte?

I scored a half decent bruise on my leg from the fall which had to be attended to by first aider Gill. So between first aiders, spotters, and general fans of the Goat Girl of the City, I'd say it was quite a team effort.

I know if I'd ended up in hospital, they would have made me a very amusing sarcastic card probably with my head photoshopped onto the top of a spring, and sent me grapes and pretzels.

And a laptop so I didn't miss my chance to write my copy.

how to make £400,000 in no time

OK. The 2012 Olympics logo. I mean... what the HECK were they thinking?



A lot of people seem to be emailing in to the BBC website to show off the designs they've made, all of which are an improvement on this design... because that's not too hard.

So I thought I'd get in on the act.



What do you think?

And just in case my bosses think I've squandered a lot of company time making that... honestly. It really only took me a couple of minutes. Hard to believe, but it's true.