belly monster

gross!!

the scarlet pimpernel

I've been away for a few days. So I guess it's possible I may have forgotten what it's like around here.

Still, I thought it odd when I overheard Lex asking Gary questions like, 'When it comes to clothes, do you generally prefer a blend of silks and satins or would you go for tattered breeches and wooden sabbots?' Or, 'Would you say your idea of relaxation is more dancing a gavotte at the latest ball or playing cards and drinking sherry?'

Weird.

This kind of question would not have been the least bit out of the ordinary in one of my former employments, dressing up as a historic tour guide at Hampton Court Palace. There, it's common practice for male colleagues to discuss the wearing of feathery hats and enquire about the appearance of their back carriages in one pair of tights or another. It's basically a professional imperative.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. If you ask me, the world would be a better place if only more men would concern themselves with hats and 18th century manners. It's just that this is not the sort of talk I had expected ever to overhear passing between two gentlemen who normally come in on a Monday morning to slag off each others' football teams.

I sat here thinking... wow! It's a whole world of possibilities! The boys are turning over a new leaf! Now, not only will I not have to listen to them compare Liverpool and Arsenal or whatever teams they support... I might even have some new buddies to discuss fashion!

They'll probably start to notice how I coordinate my scarves with my shoes! They might even start to learn to tell the difference between Cuban heels and French heels!

Unfortunately for me, they're not actually turning into dandies, as it turns out. Apparently, it was all down to a 'Which Scarlet Pimpernel Character Are You?' quiz.

My dreams of bringing couture to the Boys' Corner at PRC will have to wait.

...but anyway, after answering all of the questions, it turns out that our very own Gary, were he to be a part of this world of costumed drama, would be the Pimpernel himself.



















Having been out at the soirees with Gary, I can confirm, the similarities between these characters are striking.

rubbing shoulders

What a wonderful time our JR has had on his Virtual Alps Holiday...

He's been skiing. He's sailed through the air, goggles to the wind. He's had the chance to wear his special jumper.

And over the course of his apres ski socialising, he even managed to make a couple of new friends, a nice pair of half brothers allegedly.

It's amazing who you can meet out in these ritzy ski resorts... but remember, JR: what happens in Tirol stays in Tirol.

Have a pleasant virtual journey back. May it be free of virtual delays, virtual British Airways strikes, virtual luggage going missing at Charles de Gaulle and virtual duty on all that schnapps.

alpine fashion

JR's been on his Virtual Alps Holiday for 4 days now, and all that skiing's got him pretty tired.

So today he's taking a little break, just getting ready to settle in by the fire in his lovely reindeer jumper.

I'm sure you'll agree -- green really is his colour, no?

What's the German for Form an orderly queue, ladies?

airborne

Day three of JR's Virtual Alps Holiday. Having spent the past two days sussing all the best slopes and even getting some off piste powder action, JR is ready to take on the big stuff now.

Look at that perfect form as he sails through the air! He's got style! He's got strength! This man is a true athlete! The Russian judge says it's rubbish but who cares what they think?

Let's just hope he's mastered his landing technique. Or there'll be no apres ski for him tomorrow.

a fine powder

Day two of JR's Virtual Alps Holiday and having warmed up on the snowboard yesterday, he's ready to hit the powder.

Just imagine JR dropping out of his helicopter and zig-zagging his way down, off piste, challenging nature to try and stop him!

Nothing will come between JR and his gluwein, soft pretzel and plate of schnitzel. He battles his way down the mountain with every sense honing in on that little hut beckoning to him on the final stretch, that oasis of oompah music and european disco hits. Go JR! Carve the ice dust! The snow bunnies await!

Note: Again, we do realise that with the quality of this photoshopping, it is hard to believe that this holiday is only virtual. But trust me. JR is sniffing items from the art desk right now.

JR's virtual alps holiday

JR can't go on a ski holiday this year. This has him somewhat bummed out. Whilst we at PRC did toy with the idea that if we all clubbed together we could take up a collection and get rid of him for a week, we eventually came up with a better idea.

Instead, we are sending him on a Virtual Alps Holiday. Everyday this week, we'll post an image of JR having a blast on the slopes, showing off his moves and just generally snow-bunnying-it-up.

He is not really doing this. Neil Carter is one of the finest Production men around, and you may find it difficult to believe that JR is really still in England, when you are seeing such convincing images of him doing amazing feats in the mountains. But rest assured. It is just an illusion. This is Mac magic. JR is at his desk eating McDonalds and snickers bars, just the way you like him.